tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3824498722063465184.post510559266878669626..comments2023-03-30T03:30:10.912+11:00Comments on The Mother Load: The Mummy Mafia - Why It's Not All BadThe Mother Load (Australia)http://www.blogger.com/profile/17184903707604495342noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3824498722063465184.post-29721856926310861142014-02-17T12:41:13.152+11:002014-02-17T12:41:13.152+11:00My Mother's Group pretty much abandoned me whe...My Mother's Group pretty much abandoned me when I became a single parent. My daughter was 18 months old. They were disapproving when I continued breastfeeding until she weaned herself at 2 1/2.<br />I moved two suburbs away when my daughter was around four and barely heard a peep from any of the Mother's Group. I think it was too confronting for them to see a solo mother. This was when I needed them most. It was such a difficult time.Thankfully I have made lovely friends in my new community, most of them from the local primary school. There are still many moments when I feel undervalued or judged for being in a small 'family', (me, my daughter and our dog). Disgust is evident when some of these parents realise I am renting my house. God forbid! Maybe it's catching, better steer clear. There are others who support me wholeheartedly and without these ( mostly women) I wouldn't have been able to work as a freelancer the past couple of years. It's really been a mix , and I can only assume fear is a motivator in these judgemental behaviours, so I try to practice compassion and be content with my lot.Thanks for giving me the chance to express. <br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3824498722063465184.post-550814166362406432014-02-08T23:34:10.812+11:002014-02-08T23:34:10.812+11:00You really do have to meet people with an open hea...You really do have to meet people with an open heart and mind, don't you? Not to mention realistic expectations. As Annaleis points out in the comments, not all friendships and keepers and that's fine.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3824498722063465184.post-83428019380050788172014-01-31T20:08:36.021+11:002014-01-31T20:08:36.021+11:00I think its important to have friends in many real...I think its important to have friends in many realms. School yard Mums have been some of the best friends I have had and also some that have lasted or we have moved on. But that is ok - not all friends are supposed to be around for a lifetime. Great post.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04058233678021243605noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3824498722063465184.post-64047538676908238302014-01-31T14:43:50.508+11:002014-01-31T14:43:50.508+11:00What a great post! I don't yet have school ag...What a great post! I don't yet have school aged children, but I have a similar attitude to you - you get back what you put in (which is what I also thought when I read the original article). I attended the Mum's group at our local health centre almost two years ago now, and made some beautiful and wonderful friends who I know I can turn to anytime for advice/support/rant or to have fun! These friendships have also benefited both of my boys, as they regularly play with other children, my husband has also become friends with these families, and it has also made me a happier and better Mum from having this social support.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06034370361204967827noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3824498722063465184.post-1348745368376377822014-01-31T10:44:51.978+11:002014-01-31T10:44:51.978+11:00Overwhelming much, Jen?! Good luck with the names ...Overwhelming much, Jen?! Good luck with the names alone! I'm sure you'll gravitate towards the like-minded ones - it seems in such a crowd that 'bird's of a feather, flock together'. xxxThe Mother Load (Australia)https://www.blogger.com/profile/17184903707604495342noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3824498722063465184.post-55002495877497826832014-01-31T10:42:34.183+11:002014-01-31T10:42:34.183+11:00That's brilliant, Lisa. I feel that my lovely ...That's brilliant, Lisa. I feel that my lovely group of friends now have more than just 'having 'kids' as our thing in common, and I'm sure I've made some lifelong friends beyond the schoolyard. Thanks for your comment. The Mother Load (Australia)https://www.blogger.com/profile/17184903707604495342noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3824498722063465184.post-44583679782724460652014-01-31T10:34:10.501+11:002014-01-31T10:34:10.501+11:00I totally agree with you, i have 3 sons and my you...I totally agree with you, i have 3 sons and my youngest is in yr 12 this year. We moved interstate when the boys were only little and school yard was one of the first places that I made new friends. Some of those came and went but some of us are still friends 13 years on!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18310263177016738789noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3824498722063465184.post-88712664422971106342014-01-29T21:24:11.945+11:002014-01-29T21:24:11.945+11:00Certainly you are right, the first year of school ...Certainly you are right, the first year of school though is hard on all, the child and the parent are breaking new ground and once past prep, everything seems to settle down and find some balance and then people start to relax a little and find common interests......we are starting that journey again this year.....going in with a positive attitude......it is hard meeting new people but also fun. Crazy - we have 48 kids in prep and I know about 8 of them so 40 more parent names (and kids) to remember ahhhhhhh<br />Jenniferhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07602896034770655799noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3824498722063465184.post-80674183255381986412014-01-29T10:14:32.538+11:002014-01-29T10:14:32.538+11:00Awesome comment, OSL. I wish you and your little g...Awesome comment, OSL. I wish you and your little girl the very best this week as she embarks on her new chapter. It's a brilliant time, filled with emotion for both of you. Mine is starting on Monday - given she's spent her entire life to date entering those school gates daily, she already feels right at home! xxThe Mother Load (Australia)https://www.blogger.com/profile/17184903707604495342noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3824498722063465184.post-63975331974119391002014-01-28T17:09:04.670+11:002014-01-28T17:09:04.670+11:00My little girls starts school for the first time o...My little girls starts school for the first time on Thursday. Eeek! We are both so excited. <br /><br />Yes, me as much as her I think. I know, I'm a dork. But I'm thrilled to be heading back to school with her and can't wait to be a part of her educational & social journey. <br /><br />I'm also really quite looking forward to engaging in the school community as a parent, helping out in the classroom, on excursions, perhaps giving the Fete sub-committee a wide berth (the reviews ain't great).<br /><br />But I agree, I reckon school mums get a bad wrap. I've heard how I have to be afraid of all the politics. But I'm not going to let that taint my opinion at this stage. I've already met some of the Mums (and Dads) at transition or previously at kinder and they seems great - warm, engaged, you know...."normal", fine.<br /><br />When I had mothers group I heard terrible things about that too, how awful the women are to each other, competitive, judgey. But I didn't find this to be the case. And I have some enduring friends from that era, which means my daughter has friends she's known since she was week olds, which is lovely for her.<br /><br />I do totally agree that you get out what you put in. That's not to minimise the experiences of some who may have genuinely felt they got lumbered with a dodgy bunch - but for as much press as this experience gets, I still reckon it's in the minority.<br /><br />I didn't read Em's article, thought I've enjoyed her writing in the past. But maybe her school community just isn't compatible to her personality or way of life. Things might seem tricky if your kids were going to say, a conservative school if your personal views were more left of centre, or vice versa if you found the parent community to be overly hippy dippy and arty if you weren't into that.<br /><br />The heart of it is, put in what you want to get out and if that doesn't work, just keep to yourself I reckon - I mean you either get on, which is great. Or you don't want to get on in which case what does it matter if the so called mafia whisper behind your back that your an uptight snob?<br /><br />Probably nothing - until the party invites are doing the rounds, right?<br /><br />Oh dear.OneSmallLifehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10969675623452075422noreply@blogger.com