Thursday, January 17, 2013

Are We There Yet?!! My School Holiday Mantra

Okay - need some serious, urgent school holiday therapy. STAT. Breathe in and out with me. Repeat. A little better, until someone comes and asks me for the 23rd time if they can have a chocolate biscuit. Nonetheless, breathe again.

My kids are officially driving me NUTS. It's mid January and we have exactly 19 days left before the school routine kicks back in.  We're having some nice lazy days at home, getting good rest, sometimes swimming, eating and supposedly enjoying each other's company. While it sounds good in theory, something's wrong - GET ME OUTTA HERE! Who are these noisy, lecherous, demanding creatures who require loud, inane conversation with me at every possibly moment of the day??! A moment's peace - PLEASE!

Miss O is nine. This week, she is channelling Dame Nellie Melba and feels the need to sing in an operatic voice her every movement and need. "I'm going to play my ipoooooooood!!!" has never sounded so loud and torturous. Miss A is four. Her thing is talking, under any circumstances. Every sentence commences with "Mum...". If she goes unheard i.e if I'm on the phone or talking with someone other than her, it gets louder. Then louder still. Finally, when you reply to the sonic boom, the question revolves usually around her need for that forbidden chocolate biscuit, or to tell me her paper aeroplane flew across the room. Again.

To add in the interesting part of the equation, I work from home. I don't have an office as such so the dining table is my domain. Works well during the year when the house is empty and quiet but not so much during holidays it seems (what a shock!). Ever so conveniently, that's where the holiday colouring in and various craft activities are located too. Do I need to go on? I'm sure you get the picture. 

School holidays for me are like the good news and the bad news. The idea of quality time with well rested kids, no school lunches and maybe some sleep-ins is so welcomed around the middle of December. Yet, when D goes back to work and the festive season is over, that's when the 'fun' really begins. Kids get bored more easily, the endless stream of Christmas toys and games are tossed aside like the ridiculous plastic boxes they arrived in (that's a whole other post altogether) and the limbo period until term one commences. The fighting escalates, and the 5 year age gap between the girls rears its ugly head - Miss 9 needs her space to loll around, read and have some 'me time' (yes - 'me time' - oh the irony!) while Miss 4 bounces off the walls, chasing and nipping at the heels of her sister like a disobedient kelpie. Hence, chaos ensues (as do my headaches).

So what's to be done? I think the expression get over yourself and be grateful comes to mind (!), and yet the stress levels of wrestling your way through school hols is a real part of parenthood. I have a sneaking suspicion that when it's all over I'll look back and be a little disappointed in myself for not being more tolerant and perhaps wish I had've been a little more fun. And I won't be envious of my partner sitting in a comfy office, with his company coffee machine and a bunch of adults he calls friends, coming and going as he pleases while my young colleagues sabotage my productivity at every chance. So breathe through it - in and out. And just quietly, roll on February.

Disclaimer: The gratitude I feel each day for the two little ratbags is not clearly conveyed in this post. It's there. It's just a little masked momentarily. 



  1. Oh thank fuck there's someone else out there who's completely bloody sick of their kids while loving them to bits to the point of being able to kill for them in equal measure.
    I have absolutely no constructive advice to give you, other that to keep venting (I mean writing). That way, the scenarios you described above simply become blog fodder, not things that are likely to drive you to your wits end.

  2. Thank you, SympathetiC. I will indeed keep up my version of therapy and perhaps add in a little nip of vodka for survival purposes..;) Happy Friday to you.

  3. hear hear. i nearly posted my three on e-bay last night after many heat related felons including (but not limited to) a kick by little bro to the head of big bro, constant (read all day) whianese (the language of whinging which is incomprehensible to adults) by all three beasties and a bite by little bro to the leg of big bro that would have made the CSI forensic team proud. sigh...but aren't they cute when they're asleep. x

  4. My kids are fluent in 'whianese' (what a coincidence!) If only we could get a scholarship in THAT to somewhere fabulous. Hang in there, compadre.

  5. I'm hearing you sister! I think we have a lot in common (including Chris Taylor!) I also work from home and had exactly that with the 7 year old who I have just shuffled off to holiday program. Winner alround really. She's no longer climbing the walls, telling me she's bored every 5 minutes and is now tired enough to go to bed at a decent hour too. I thoroughly recommend it! MWWx

  6. MWW - genius move! I was under some illusion that having the two of them home together might somehow mean they sit quietly in their room/s and play together like the kids from Mary Poppins. What planet was I on? All the best to you - here's to February! Now where's that holiday program phone number.....

  7. HI Spohie,
    Congratulations on the blog - wish I was so may have just inspired me.
    xx k

  8. Miss Kate - thanks for your comment! Just do it - you'll be great and the fear is part of the fun...;) xxxx