Showing posts with label Parenthood. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Parenthood. Show all posts

Saturday, December 5, 2015

Can We Just Build A Fort?!


IMAGE : VIA BUZZFEED | Can We Just Build A Fort?
Christ On A Bike! I know it's a bit wiffy of me to pop in on the blog and spew a life whinge given how long it's been since my last post, but for the love of Jah I'm so tired of being a grown up! Being a grown up sucks! Right now, I want nothing more than to build a fort and hide in there while people bring me peanut butter sandwiches or hot chips.  Who's with me? There's room for a few of us.

Tuesday, April 29, 2014

The Five Minute Chat....


IMAGE : THE MOTHER LOAD
Every night at bedtime, my ten year old girl asks me the same question. "Mum, can we have a five minute chat?".

This is her way of telling me she needs me to herself for a period of time, without the distraction of homework, electronic devices, chores and most importantly without her doting five year old sister skipping around us like a chihuahua on Red Bull. Truth be told, sometimes it's also a great way for her to delay the orders for sleep but I figure I owe her a little one-on-one given that most of her spare time usually belongs to her sister. And what better way to learn about what is actually taking place inside her world than to spend time talking and listening to her without distraction? It's amazing how much insight I'm able to gain when she's in the mood for conversation. This is where the usual ritual on the drive home from school where I say "What did you do at school today?" and she replies, "Nothing much" is finally abandoned and the real details come spilling out.

The five minute chat originated about a year ago when Miss O was entering a new phase of her life where friendships suddenly became complicated.

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Media Hypocrisy - Charlotte Vs. Grant


IMAGE : NEWS.COM.AU
I'm disappointed in the media hypocrisy this week.

On one hand, the overwhelming media message after the death of Charlotte Dawson is all about being nicer, kinder, more accountable and more supportive of those who are vulnerable. Yet two days later, here are photos and an invasive story with 'judgey' undertones about Grant Hackett (equally as mentally vulnerable as Charlotte I would argue) in a complete flap after his child goes missing from his hotel room.

Yep - his unfortunate choice of outfit might win him first prize at a questionable toga party, but wouldn't it be weirder if he'd taken the time to dress appropriately before searching for his missing child at 3am? Did onlookers expect a suit and tie under such circumstances? Good on him for considering his child first before worrying about the ass clowns who take these photos for sport in the first place.

And if you've never had one of those moments where you've lost sight of your child, I applaud you and bow down before you; your time will probably come. It happens to the best of us so there's no judgement here.

Dear Media - you are part of the problem, not the solution.


Thursday, February 20, 2014

Gripping Too Tight (And Other Nonsense)


IMAGE : THE MOTHER LOAD | Gripping Too Tight And Other Nonsense

Righto - I think I have a problem. Actually, I KNOW I have a problem and it's much more about me than her but nonetheless, here it is.

Remember I said that Miss A was positively brimming with excitement at the prospect of commencing her first year of school?  Well the enthusiasm seems to have evaporated somewhat and my obsessive, everything-must-be-perfect personality is having trouble dealing. I'm not having trouble in a shouty, impatient mother kinda way (I reserve that part of my personality for other precious moments like when it takes what seems like ten minutes to climb into the car and fasten a godforsaken seat belt) but in a begging, "oh please please love school, it's so much fun" kinda way.

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

The Mummy Mafia - Why It's Not All Bad


IMAGE : THE MOTHER LOAD | The Mummy Mafia - Why It's Not All Bad
Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one. ― C.S. Lewis

Last week, I read an interesting article written by Em Rusciano via Mamamia titled, 'Why I'm Not Friends With Other Mothers' and it really struck a chord with me.  In actual fact, it made me feel quite sad and sorry for her;  I'm sure that's not the reaction she was after as its tone was quite self-effacing, but it made me realise that I truly can't imagine being without the friends I've made through our school community and through my children generally. In the case of the article, I am the complete opposite to Em; these days I definitely have more girlfriends with children than without. That's kinda normal though, right?? When it comes to schoolyard friendships, apparently not.

Saturday, January 11, 2014

Life B.C. - A Little Stroll Down Memory Lane


IMAGE : THE MOTHER LOAD | Life B.C - A Little Stroll Down Memory Lane

I'm a Mum of two girls and I love it. Let's be clear - I barely remember the person I was before our two junior family members entered my life; frankly, I don't really miss the person I was and I wouldn't change things for the world.  Yada yada yada.  

Having cleared that up, let it be said there's a decent sized list of stuff I miss about my life B.C. (Before Children). Call me a questionable mother for publicly listing them but dammit, sometimes a mother has to reminisce.  Remember the freedom you took for granted before children? No? Perhaps my stroll down memory lane will help jog your memory!

Let's start with spontaneity. That's officially the first thing you toss in the skip as you leave the hospital with your new bundle of joy. It never returns and you barely have time to mourn its absence. To this very day, I miss the ability to go somewhere fabulous without great consideration for a) whether appropriate behaviour from the junior attendees will be likely b) what will be required to accompany us in order to maintain said appropriate behaviour c) whether the potential for trouble outweighs the need to go out all and therefore should the plan be aborted for sanity's sake. These factors come into each and every outing decision you make. Spontaneity is awesome and if you still have it, use it! Or come around to my place and look after my kids while I use it for you. 

Another thing is eating out in a grown up, civilised manner. That's something I REALLY miss. The simple task of going somewhere nice, spending time pouring over a menu or wine list with mature, ponderous conversation and eating as slowly as biologically required, without what I'm calling 'parental indigestion'. If you have kids, you already know what I mean. 'Parental indigestion' is usually accompanied by phrases such as "sit down and eat - we're in a (bloody) restaurant" or "for the love of God, pass me four thousand napkins while I clean up the tidal wave of iced water that has just ended up destroying my Pad Thai". Yeah - that. I miss eating out without the usual knot in my stomach. 

Then there's grocery shopping. Although I was never one for pacing the aisles of Coles for hours in a leisurely fashion, there are now times I'd pay good money for the ability to do it. Lock me in there for a night - please. I'll pay for everything I eat, just give me the peace. Remember the days of doing every aisle and carefully comparing prices and specials? Remember ending up at the checkout with a trolley full of the items you chose with clear and concise precision and not peppered with random rolls of sticky tape, confectionery and cheap-arse toys that you have no memory of collecting on your journey?  I also sigh despondently at the wonderful memory of not caring who else was in the supermarket, knowing full well that back in the day, you alone would never have asked the large lady if she has a baby in her tummy, or referring loudly to the Sri Lankan Nun as "Blackface". Before kids, I was able to control how to prevent embarrassment and the dishing out of insults, as I saw fit. Those were the days.

Lastly, who remembers a visit to the Doctor before kids? Oh, I do. Sooo many things to remember and miss - how about a calm, predictable waiting room experience?! Remember not caring about whether there was a sufficient array of colouring pencils to keep your entourage entertained while you're trapped in a room with a bunch of hacking strangers for an unnecessarily lengthy period of time? Remember also not having to worry about using the term 'inside voice' in every third sentence in that same waiting room? Recently, I was lucky enough to have a four year old with me when going for my routine pap test. Yes, hooray - a pap test. I'd struck the proverbial jackpot one would say. I had meticulously booked the appointment so I could attend on my own, but naturally at the last minute the babysitting fell through and I was forced to drag Miss 4 along with me. For the love of God, if this ever happens to you, simply concede, cancel the appointment and happily pay the penalty fees in the knowledge you've avoided experiencing the highest level of parental punishment possible. I'll spare you the details but needless to say, the doctor recommended I attend again the following week for a repeat test due to her "not being certain I was relaxed enough. Really? Quelle surprise!! And who doesn't love enduring a pap test two weeks in a row?

So there's the mere beginning of the 'Life B.C'. list. I admit that conversely there's a really sizeable list detailing how much better my life is with these small people in it and how lucky I am to have been able to have them in the first place, but sometimes it feels good to remember the good old B.C. days even just for a minute!

Now excuse me while I go and wipe the smeared breakfast jam from my new, overpriced dress...




Thursday, October 17, 2013

Confessions Of A Failed Feeder - When 'Breast Is Best' Just Isn't


IMAGE : THE MOTHER LOAD | Confessions Of A Failed Feeder

According to various wise and experienced bloggers, a 'true blogger' is prepared at some point to reveal a very personal thing about themselves to their loyal, dedicated readers. I've read many tales from other writers who bare their soul and despite their fear of judgement, they feed their audience exactly what they've been waiting for like a pack of hungry lions. Audiences love a little personal exposure; it's why bloggers get followed because they are inviting and permitting a certain type of voyeurism. Readers love it because often they can relate; sometimes another person's tale can give them strength or perspective, or perhaps it simply gives them the sense of camaraderie or like-mindedness they've been searching for. And I guess that's why I write and why I share - I always hope to strike a chord with someone. When considering a subject, often I could get very personal about many different areas of my life but I'm always conscious of involving the stories of other players who haven't signed up to participate in my public oversharing. I could write about the ups and downs of my various family relationships as I'm sure many of us could, but in fairness it's me whose soul has (reluctantly) signed up to be laid bare, and no one else's.

So here's something a little personal. I'm sharing mainly because I would have given anything to read this story written by someone else at a certain time in my life.

Monday, September 23, 2013

Save Us From The 'Selfie' - When Innocent Becomes Suggestive


IMAGES : MORGUEFILE.COM | Save Us From The Selfie

It's a subject that's been playing on my mind lately, particularly as I watch my first born child heading towards her teen years like a clumsy snowball barrelling down a hill. Perhaps it's because we sat as a family and watched old videos of her as a toddler this past weekend, or simply due to the fact that her newly discovered sometimes surly teen-like attitude is belting me over the head as a reminder that my firm, motherly grasp is gently loosening. Either way, I need to give further consideration to this especially tricky subject that all parents face thanks to the wonders of technology and connectivity.  I am of course referring to the modern age artistic phenomenon of the 'selfie'. For those still living in 1980 or with their head buried in the sand (any room there for me?) a 'selfie' is defined by the Oxford Dictionary as follows:

Selfie
noun
(plural selfies)

informal, a photograph that one has taken of oneself, typically one taken with a smartphone or webcam and uploaded to a social media website.

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

One Door Shuts, Another Opens....Five Years Today!


IMAGE : THE MOTHER LOAD  | Five Years Today
This little person turns five today (bless her little cotton socks). She's equal parts awesome and eccentric, with a generous dash of off-the-wall crazy and although I know I'm totally in for it in about eight years time, I love all of her individuality, spark and bullishness (keep an eye out for future posts that completely contradict this).

So does that mean I'm officially leaving the pre-school parenting phase?? Holy Crap. (or "Oh My Giddy Aunt" as the birthday girl pictured right, says when caught by surprise). That is actually pretty significant to someone who knows there are no more children on the horizon and if I really think about it, the idea of this fills me which much more joy looking forward than it does sadness as I leave the last of that phase behind. I loved having babies and the roller coaster ride of having toddlers was mostly pain free. Having said that, today I celebrate both of my kids having a little more independence and a slightly more self- sufficient routine that gives me a little (Goddamn) freedom. 

Happy Birthday to the cheekiest monkey in town. May the next phase of your life be filled with the joys of growing up, learning your ABCs, sharing my love of the written word and most importantly learning the art of friendship. (And may the next phase of MY life be filled with the ability to attend a doctor's appointment or a leg wax without the 'mouth from the south' in attendance).  Woop!


Thursday, January 17, 2013

Are We There Yet?!! My School Holiday Mantra


IMAGE: THE MOTHER LOAD | Are We There Yet?
Okay - need some serious, urgent school holiday therapy. STAT. Breathe in and out with me. Repeat. A little better, until someone comes and asks me for the 23rd time if they can have a chocolate biscuit. Nonetheless, breathe again.

My kids are officially driving me NUTS. It's mid January and we have exactly 19 days left before the school routine kicks back in.  We're having some nice lazy days at home, getting good rest, sometimes swimming, eating and supposedly enjoying each other's company. While it sounds good in theory, something's wrong - GET ME OUTTA HERE! Who are these noisy, lecherous, demanding creatures who require loud, inane conversation with me at every possibly moment of the day??! A moment's peace - PLEASE!

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Unmarried With Kids and the 2010 Judgement List


IMAGE: MORGUEFILE.COM | Unmarried With Kids
Recently I was contacted to be interviewed in a leading parenting mag about our choice to be unmarried with kids. The article ended up being a nice, objective view of both sides of the fence if you will. It got me thinking though - do people REALLY care whether or not we're married? To be honest, I figured most people didn't even know, let alone care. After reading the other side of the argument though, I'm really curious to know if people regard us differently for the choice we've made.Our families have never expressed any opinion either way - I was born out of wedlock in the early 70's so I can't imagine my parents having any kind of objection to our choice. These days however, my perception is that the right to choose marriage (or not) is yours and is no longer at the top of what I refer to as the Judgement List (cultural differences aside).


So what makes up the 2010 Judgement List? (Insert drumroll here). Yet again - parenting! And in particular motherhood and the individual choices us mothers make. Never in my life have I felt more judged, intimidated, and incompetent than when my children were first born. Roll that up with the euphoric emotions that accompany the birth of a new baby and recovery from the most physical walloping of your life and WHAM! No wonder people refer to you during that period as 'hormonal' (or was that just me?). Breast vs. bottle, disposable vs. cloth, routine vs. free-for-all, co-sleeping vs. own room, the list is endless. And even the most previously unopinionated woman will have something to say on each subject in defence of themselves or as an attack on another. Mark my words and guilty as charged. Even if I never said it - I silently judged many times (particularly when I witnessed a baby drinking COKE from its bottle - you know who you are).

So to all those mothers out there - particularly the new ones. Follow your instincts, not someone else's. Believe it or not, it's inbuilt. You know what's going to work for you - it's a tough job and you need to formulate your own plan to do it well. Take all the advice, then kick it to the curb if it doesn't suit.

That's my advice.

Monday, January 25, 2010

In The Beginning....


IMAGE : THE MOTHER LOAD | In The Beginning

I have a theory that the art of motherhood is a skill best shared between others for the sake of its own betterment. That being said, I certainly don't profess that it's a skill I've even come close to perfecting, despite my continuing best efforts! 

Miss O is six and actually thinks she's fourteen. That's our problem number one and the reason for much of the stuff I will clumsily spill onto this blog in the coming posts! Miss A is eighteen months - what a joyous age. I'd forgotten how much they love you at this age - you can do NO wrong and I'm now keely aware that the pedestal you're on soon decreases in size! But for now, I'm lapping it up.