Showing posts with label Motherhood. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Motherhood. Show all posts

Tuesday, April 29, 2014

The Five Minute Chat....


IMAGE : THE MOTHER LOAD
Every night at bedtime, my ten year old girl asks me the same question. "Mum, can we have a five minute chat?".

This is her way of telling me she needs me to herself for a period of time, without the distraction of homework, electronic devices, chores and most importantly without her doting five year old sister skipping around us like a chihuahua on Red Bull. Truth be told, sometimes it's also a great way for her to delay the orders for sleep but I figure I owe her a little one-on-one given that most of her spare time usually belongs to her sister. And what better way to learn about what is actually taking place inside her world than to spend time talking and listening to her without distraction? It's amazing how much insight I'm able to gain when she's in the mood for conversation. This is where the usual ritual on the drive home from school where I say "What did you do at school today?" and she replies, "Nothing much" is finally abandoned and the real details come spilling out.

The five minute chat originated about a year ago when Miss O was entering a new phase of her life where friendships suddenly became complicated.

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Go the FLECK To Sleep ...(Please)


KIDS PLEASE DO MORE OF THIS | Go The F@ck To Sleep
IMAGE : THE MOTHER LOAD
See this face? Looks like an angel doesn't she!? But do you know what we've gone through in order to get her to reach this blissful state? DO YOU!? Our nightly sleep routine is officially making me crazy. Night after night, it's like someone sounds a magic trumpet and the two tired, irritable souls who roam the hallways in full whinge mode between 4-7pm suddenly come to life like feral night cats. Apparently, it's party time and we're all invited!

Our nightly repertoire usually commences with such favourites as "Mum! I need water!" followed two minutes later by "I (think) I need the toilet" (for the twelfth time). Then there's the "I'm hot - I need my fan" or "I'm cold I need a blanket" and let's not forget last night's classic, "Mum! I need to tell you that I've learned to click my fingers!!!! Can you hear that?? I'm doing it!!" Snap, snap, snap. Truthfully, I can't work out if it's her fingers making the sound, or my unusually tense shoulder tendons coming undone, one by one.

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Tree Change, Sea Change or Me Change?


IMAGE : MORGUEFILE.COM | Tree Change, Sea Change Or Me Change?
You know what I would like to do right now? I would like to do a big crazy life change that gets me as far away as possible from the daily grind that currently engulfs me. Call it a moment of temporary insanity or an early (not that early) mid-life crisis but I have a sudden yearning for a big, beautiful, spacious house with enough land for horses, and swing sets, a view of rolling hills and maybe a lake. See the picture? I want that driveway. And I want big verandahs, and a country kitchen in which to bake bread - I want to take up bread making! Yes! Why not? Know what else I'd like? I would simply like to put a stop to the 'groundhog day' monotony that currently defines my world. Is that too much to ask?


Saturday, March 8, 2014

Saturday, January 11, 2014

Life B.C. - A Little Stroll Down Memory Lane


IMAGE : THE MOTHER LOAD | Life B.C - A Little Stroll Down Memory Lane

I'm a Mum of two girls and I love it. Let's be clear - I barely remember the person I was before our two junior family members entered my life; frankly, I don't really miss the person I was and I wouldn't change things for the world.  Yada yada yada.  

Having cleared that up, let it be said there's a decent sized list of stuff I miss about my life B.C. (Before Children). Call me a questionable mother for publicly listing them but dammit, sometimes a mother has to reminisce.  Remember the freedom you took for granted before children? No? Perhaps my stroll down memory lane will help jog your memory!

Let's start with spontaneity. That's officially the first thing you toss in the skip as you leave the hospital with your new bundle of joy. It never returns and you barely have time to mourn its absence. To this very day, I miss the ability to go somewhere fabulous without great consideration for a) whether appropriate behaviour from the junior attendees will be likely b) what will be required to accompany us in order to maintain said appropriate behaviour c) whether the potential for trouble outweighs the need to go out all and therefore should the plan be aborted for sanity's sake. These factors come into each and every outing decision you make. Spontaneity is awesome and if you still have it, use it! Or come around to my place and look after my kids while I use it for you. 

Another thing is eating out in a grown up, civilised manner. That's something I REALLY miss. The simple task of going somewhere nice, spending time pouring over a menu or wine list with mature, ponderous conversation and eating as slowly as biologically required, without what I'm calling 'parental indigestion'. If you have kids, you already know what I mean. 'Parental indigestion' is usually accompanied by phrases such as "sit down and eat - we're in a (bloody) restaurant" or "for the love of God, pass me four thousand napkins while I clean up the tidal wave of iced water that has just ended up destroying my Pad Thai". Yeah - that. I miss eating out without the usual knot in my stomach. 

Then there's grocery shopping. Although I was never one for pacing the aisles of Coles for hours in a leisurely fashion, there are now times I'd pay good money for the ability to do it. Lock me in there for a night - please. I'll pay for everything I eat, just give me the peace. Remember the days of doing every aisle and carefully comparing prices and specials? Remember ending up at the checkout with a trolley full of the items you chose with clear and concise precision and not peppered with random rolls of sticky tape, confectionery and cheap-arse toys that you have no memory of collecting on your journey?  I also sigh despondently at the wonderful memory of not caring who else was in the supermarket, knowing full well that back in the day, you alone would never have asked the large lady if she has a baby in her tummy, or referring loudly to the Sri Lankan Nun as "Blackface". Before kids, I was able to control how to prevent embarrassment and the dishing out of insults, as I saw fit. Those were the days.

Lastly, who remembers a visit to the Doctor before kids? Oh, I do. Sooo many things to remember and miss - how about a calm, predictable waiting room experience?! Remember not caring about whether there was a sufficient array of colouring pencils to keep your entourage entertained while you're trapped in a room with a bunch of hacking strangers for an unnecessarily lengthy period of time? Remember also not having to worry about using the term 'inside voice' in every third sentence in that same waiting room? Recently, I was lucky enough to have a four year old with me when going for my routine pap test. Yes, hooray - a pap test. I'd struck the proverbial jackpot one would say. I had meticulously booked the appointment so I could attend on my own, but naturally at the last minute the babysitting fell through and I was forced to drag Miss 4 along with me. For the love of God, if this ever happens to you, simply concede, cancel the appointment and happily pay the penalty fees in the knowledge you've avoided experiencing the highest level of parental punishment possible. I'll spare you the details but needless to say, the doctor recommended I attend again the following week for a repeat test due to her "not being certain I was relaxed enough. Really? Quelle surprise!! And who doesn't love enduring a pap test two weeks in a row?

So there's the mere beginning of the 'Life B.C'. list. I admit that conversely there's a really sizeable list detailing how much better my life is with these small people in it and how lucky I am to have been able to have them in the first place, but sometimes it feels good to remember the good old B.C. days even just for a minute!

Now excuse me while I go and wipe the smeared breakfast jam from my new, overpriced dress...




Thursday, October 17, 2013

Confessions Of A Failed Feeder - When 'Breast Is Best' Just Isn't


IMAGE : THE MOTHER LOAD | Confessions Of A Failed Feeder

According to various wise and experienced bloggers, a 'true blogger' is prepared at some point to reveal a very personal thing about themselves to their loyal, dedicated readers. I've read many tales from other writers who bare their soul and despite their fear of judgement, they feed their audience exactly what they've been waiting for like a pack of hungry lions. Audiences love a little personal exposure; it's why bloggers get followed because they are inviting and permitting a certain type of voyeurism. Readers love it because often they can relate; sometimes another person's tale can give them strength or perspective, or perhaps it simply gives them the sense of camaraderie or like-mindedness they've been searching for. And I guess that's why I write and why I share - I always hope to strike a chord with someone. When considering a subject, often I could get very personal about many different areas of my life but I'm always conscious of involving the stories of other players who haven't signed up to participate in my public oversharing. I could write about the ups and downs of my various family relationships as I'm sure many of us could, but in fairness it's me whose soul has (reluctantly) signed up to be laid bare, and no one else's.

So here's something a little personal. I'm sharing mainly because I would have given anything to read this story written by someone else at a certain time in my life.

Wednesday, July 31, 2013

The Status Of Childbirth (My Media Bugbear)


IMAGE : KATE, WILLS AND GEORGE - BLESS 'EM | The Status Of Childbirth

Let it be said that I love Kate and Wills and new baby George. I love what they stand for in these modern times and good on 'em for announcing that they'll be doing the hands on parent thing (although I'll bet my left ovary that Mary Poppins will be called upon before too long because why wouldn't you after a string of sleepless nights if you had the choice?).

Perhaps I'm being over-sensitive (and I do write this post with my tongue pressed gingerly into my cheek) but does anyone else find the above statement accompanying the photo slightly pointless and a teeny bit insulting? 

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Unmarried With Kids and the 2010 Judgement List


IMAGE: MORGUEFILE.COM | Unmarried With Kids
Recently I was contacted to be interviewed in a leading parenting mag about our choice to be unmarried with kids. The article ended up being a nice, objective view of both sides of the fence if you will. It got me thinking though - do people REALLY care whether or not we're married? To be honest, I figured most people didn't even know, let alone care. After reading the other side of the argument though, I'm really curious to know if people regard us differently for the choice we've made.Our families have never expressed any opinion either way - I was born out of wedlock in the early 70's so I can't imagine my parents having any kind of objection to our choice. These days however, my perception is that the right to choose marriage (or not) is yours and is no longer at the top of what I refer to as the Judgement List (cultural differences aside).


So what makes up the 2010 Judgement List? (Insert drumroll here). Yet again - parenting! And in particular motherhood and the individual choices us mothers make. Never in my life have I felt more judged, intimidated, and incompetent than when my children were first born. Roll that up with the euphoric emotions that accompany the birth of a new baby and recovery from the most physical walloping of your life and WHAM! No wonder people refer to you during that period as 'hormonal' (or was that just me?). Breast vs. bottle, disposable vs. cloth, routine vs. free-for-all, co-sleeping vs. own room, the list is endless. And even the most previously unopinionated woman will have something to say on each subject in defence of themselves or as an attack on another. Mark my words and guilty as charged. Even if I never said it - I silently judged many times (particularly when I witnessed a baby drinking COKE from its bottle - you know who you are).

So to all those mothers out there - particularly the new ones. Follow your instincts, not someone else's. Believe it or not, it's inbuilt. You know what's going to work for you - it's a tough job and you need to formulate your own plan to do it well. Take all the advice, then kick it to the curb if it doesn't suit.

That's my advice.

Monday, January 25, 2010

In The Beginning....


IMAGE : THE MOTHER LOAD | In The Beginning

I have a theory that the art of motherhood is a skill best shared between others for the sake of its own betterment. That being said, I certainly don't profess that it's a skill I've even come close to perfecting, despite my continuing best efforts! 

Miss O is six and actually thinks she's fourteen. That's our problem number one and the reason for much of the stuff I will clumsily spill onto this blog in the coming posts! Miss A is eighteen months - what a joyous age. I'd forgotten how much they love you at this age - you can do NO wrong and I'm now keely aware that the pedestal you're on soon decreases in size! But for now, I'm lapping it up.