Saturday, January 11, 2014

Life B.C. - A Little Stroll Down Memory Lane


IMAGE : THE MOTHER LOAD | Life B.C - A Little Stroll Down Memory Lane

I'm a Mum of two girls and I love it. Let's be clear - I barely remember the person I was before our two junior family members entered my life; frankly, I don't really miss the person I was and I wouldn't change things for the world.  Yada yada yada.  

Having cleared that up, let it be said there's a decent sized list of stuff I miss about my life B.C. (Before Children). Call me a questionable mother for publicly listing them but dammit, sometimes a mother has to reminisce.  Remember the freedom you took for granted before children? No? Perhaps my stroll down memory lane will help jog your memory!

Let's start with spontaneity. That's officially the first thing you toss in the skip as you leave the hospital with your new bundle of joy. It never returns and you barely have time to mourn its absence. To this very day, I miss the ability to go somewhere fabulous without great consideration for a) whether appropriate behaviour from the junior attendees will be likely b) what will be required to accompany us in order to maintain said appropriate behaviour c) whether the potential for trouble outweighs the need to go out all and therefore should the plan be aborted for sanity's sake. These factors come into each and every outing decision you make. Spontaneity is awesome and if you still have it, use it! Or come around to my place and look after my kids while I use it for you. 

Another thing is eating out in a grown up, civilised manner. That's something I REALLY miss. The simple task of going somewhere nice, spending time pouring over a menu or wine list with mature, ponderous conversation and eating as slowly as biologically required, without what I'm calling 'parental indigestion'. If you have kids, you already know what I mean. 'Parental indigestion' is usually accompanied by phrases such as "sit down and eat - we're in a (bloody) restaurant" or "for the love of God, pass me four thousand napkins while I clean up the tidal wave of iced water that has just ended up destroying my Pad Thai". Yeah - that. I miss eating out without the usual knot in my stomach. 

Then there's grocery shopping. Although I was never one for pacing the aisles of Coles for hours in a leisurely fashion, there are now times I'd pay good money for the ability to do it. Lock me in there for a night - please. I'll pay for everything I eat, just give me the peace. Remember the days of doing every aisle and carefully comparing prices and specials? Remember ending up at the checkout with a trolley full of the items you chose with clear and concise precision and not peppered with random rolls of sticky tape, confectionery and cheap-arse toys that you have no memory of collecting on your journey?  I also sigh despondently at the wonderful memory of not caring who else was in the supermarket, knowing full well that back in the day, you alone would never have asked the large lady if she has a baby in her tummy, or referring loudly to the Sri Lankan Nun as "Blackface". Before kids, I was able to control how to prevent embarrassment and the dishing out of insults, as I saw fit. Those were the days.

Lastly, who remembers a visit to the Doctor before kids? Oh, I do. Sooo many things to remember and miss - how about a calm, predictable waiting room experience?! Remember not caring about whether there was a sufficient array of colouring pencils to keep your entourage entertained while you're trapped in a room with a bunch of hacking strangers for an unnecessarily lengthy period of time? Remember also not having to worry about using the term 'inside voice' in every third sentence in that same waiting room? Recently, I was lucky enough to have a four year old with me when going for my routine pap test. Yes, hooray - a pap test. I'd struck the proverbial jackpot one would say. I had meticulously booked the appointment so I could attend on my own, but naturally at the last minute the babysitting fell through and I was forced to drag Miss 4 along with me. For the love of God, if this ever happens to you, simply concede, cancel the appointment and happily pay the penalty fees in the knowledge you've avoided experiencing the highest level of parental punishment possible. I'll spare you the details but needless to say, the doctor recommended I attend again the following week for a repeat test due to her "not being certain I was relaxed enough. Really? Quelle surprise!! And who doesn't love enduring a pap test two weeks in a row?

So there's the mere beginning of the 'Life B.C'. list. I admit that conversely there's a really sizeable list detailing how much better my life is with these small people in it and how lucky I am to have been able to have them in the first place, but sometimes it feels good to remember the good old B.C. days even just for a minute!

Now excuse me while I go and wipe the smeared breakfast jam from my new, overpriced dress...




12 comments :

  1. Soph, I pissed myself at the Pap test anecdote!!! You poor thing!

    When pregnant with Master 7 I had an overwhelming sense of 'my life is not my own now' and concede that I will never pee in peace or have a decent night sleep again!

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    1. Yes - I agree! Conceding is the answer. Wish I'd done that sooner..;) xxx

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  2. Have you tried this option, Mother? ;)

    http://pics.funnierpics.net/1/yaf-jpg-1-2.html

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  3. I got three words for you Shower - Toilet - Sleep.

    Many things in life are better with babies, but these three ain't among them.

    Lovely post. x

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  4. Oh I hear you! All of those things I truly and dearly miss, especially going to a restaurant! I had to bring my 2 year old to my last pap test, luckily he was a good boy and played in the corner but he was very curious as to what was happening with mummy behind the curtain. I made the big mistake of letting my son push around one of those kiddy trolleys at coles, I will NEVER do it again, well not for a while. Every time we go past these little kiddy trolleys, he points and wants to have one, sparking up a huge tantrum because I won't let him. Nothing harder than trying to shop, push a trolley and chase a child with a trolley who always decides to run the other way! Found you via BOTW @ Red Dolls.

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    1. Hi Eva - thanks for stopping by and leaving your comment. I had to laugh - the idea of wrestling a Coles trolley alone is enough for me to bear let alone allowing one of the kids to have their own! You're one brave lady! xxx

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  5. I miss eating my OWN dinner without little fingers wanting to "try some" or "have a bite", which is also my hubby ..... & speaking of hubby - I miss long sensual sex, where time wasn't a big factor & there wasn't someone banging on the door wanting to "come in" or "why is the door locked Mummy?" or "I'm hungry, can I have something to eat" ... arrrgghhh !!
    That said - my son seems to provide endless comical entertainment, like the time he found my tampons in my bathroom cupboard & came out & pronounced he had "found a big box of white Nurf Bullets Mum !!" ... & he was 3 at the time !! lol
    PS - I also found you on Red Dolls :)

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  6. I miss all of those things terribly too....I'd love to be able to pack up and just go on holidays even if only for the night without thinking about how much stuff I need to drag along to accommodate the two little people!

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  7. I miss the days of sleeping in until 1pm on the weekend, of watching a movie and eating takeaway in bed, of just being irresponsible or downright selfish if I wanted to be ;)

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  8. As a non Mum, but a functioning Dad I can say that apart from the Pap Smears we face similar difficulties. Can you believe it? I now have to be home from the pub every night before midnight just so the kids remember who I am. Apparently a photo just isn't good enough

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