Saturday, September 6, 2014

Exercise - Meh

IMAGE : THE MOTHER LOAD | Exercise - Meh

It's just not my thing.

I do it but only when I've exhausted all of my excuses. I have this ridiculous conversation with myself on gym days that goes something like,

"MUST get to the gym today."

"I'm too tired - my thyroid is sluggish and I just need coffee and good conversation. Exercise - meh." 

"What? Don't be ridiculous. You had coffee and good conversation yesterday!"

"I know but I really like coffee. And I like my friends. And I need more work/ life balance."

"You're being pathetic. Squeeze your saggy ass into those skins, get that ill-fitting sports bra on and pull yourself together!" 

 Sometimes the active me wins, sometimes coffee wins. (Yay for coffee!).

Two or three times a week, I get on that treadmill, elliptical or stationary bike with about as much enthusiasm as Clive Palmer at a Jenny Craig love-in but despite this, I manage to push myself enough to sweat (or 'perspire' as my mum would prefer) and feel that God-awful muscle burn as I'm apparently supposed to. But - still, pretty meh. It 'aint even close to my definition of enjoyable. During these uninspiring workouts, with religious predictability I panic at being short of breath because I'm convinced I'm entering cardiac arrest. I acknowledge however, that it's simply the lazy me trying to convince the active me that this whole exercise thing is just not for us, which at times can be a pretty convincing argument when I feel like I have two large bowling balls strapped to my ankles. Nonetheless, by some miracle I always manage to get the job done. Then, as I return to the car park I bask in the post-exercise glory that is the bless-ed cocktail of endorphins, temporarily tightened muscles and the knowledge that the active me has won that round. Do you know that feeling? It's cause for celebration! Coffee and fruit toast anyone?!!

I think I need to find that thing that makes me forget I'm actually exercising. According to my Jawbone UP pedometer, I'm at my athletic best when I'm on a mission in a shopping complex. Man, do I rack up the miles when I'm after a pair of shoes to match a frock! Olympic gold medal winning form. If I could afford to shop myself fit three times a week there would be NO excuses. Or maybe if a dance floor, a tipple of vodka and a prolific DJ smashing out the tunes three times a week after morning school drop off could be made freely available, I would be at my athletic peak?! Much more likely to be trim taught and terrific, I would say.

For now though, the struggle between my willpower and the stationary gym equipment will continue at least until the weather is more forgiving or until (God forbid) the coffee supply runs dry. Meh.

Do you exercise regularly? What type of exercise do you do that inspires you to punch the air and keep coming back? Suggestions please?!

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