Saturday, January 11, 2014

Life B.C. - A Little Stroll Down Memory Lane


IMAGE : THE MOTHER LOAD | Life B.C - A Little Stroll Down Memory Lane

I'm a Mum of two girls and I love it. Let's be clear - I barely remember the person I was before our two junior family members entered my life; frankly, I don't really miss the person I was and I wouldn't change things for the world.  Yada yada yada.  

Having cleared that up, let it be said there's a decent sized list of stuff I miss about my life B.C. (Before Children). Call me a questionable mother for publicly listing them but dammit, sometimes a mother has to reminisce.  Remember the freedom you took for granted before children? No? Perhaps my stroll down memory lane will help jog your memory!

Let's start with spontaneity. That's officially the first thing you toss in the skip as you leave the hospital with your new bundle of joy. It never returns and you barely have time to mourn its absence. To this very day, I miss the ability to go somewhere fabulous without great consideration for a) whether appropriate behaviour from the junior attendees will be likely b) what will be required to accompany us in order to maintain said appropriate behaviour c) whether the potential for trouble outweighs the need to go out all and therefore should the plan be aborted for sanity's sake. These factors come into each and every outing decision you make. Spontaneity is awesome and if you still have it, use it! Or come around to my place and look after my kids while I use it for you. 

Another thing is eating out in a grown up, civilised manner. That's something I REALLY miss. The simple task of going somewhere nice, spending time pouring over a menu or wine list with mature, ponderous conversation and eating as slowly as biologically required, without what I'm calling 'parental indigestion'. If you have kids, you already know what I mean. 'Parental indigestion' is usually accompanied by phrases such as "sit down and eat - we're in a (bloody) restaurant" or "for the love of God, pass me four thousand napkins while I clean up the tidal wave of iced water that has just ended up destroying my Pad Thai". Yeah - that. I miss eating out without the usual knot in my stomach. 

Then there's grocery shopping. Although I was never one for pacing the aisles of Coles for hours in a leisurely fashion, there are now times I'd pay good money for the ability to do it. Lock me in there for a night - please. I'll pay for everything I eat, just give me the peace. Remember the days of doing every aisle and carefully comparing prices and specials? Remember ending up at the checkout with a trolley full of the items you chose with clear and concise precision and not peppered with random rolls of sticky tape, confectionery and cheap-arse toys that you have no memory of collecting on your journey?  I also sigh despondently at the wonderful memory of not caring who else was in the supermarket, knowing full well that back in the day, you alone would never have asked the large lady if she has a baby in her tummy, or referring loudly to the Sri Lankan Nun as "Blackface". Before kids, I was able to control how to prevent embarrassment and the dishing out of insults, as I saw fit. Those were the days.

Lastly, who remembers a visit to the Doctor before kids? Oh, I do. Sooo many things to remember and miss - how about a calm, predictable waiting room experience?! Remember not caring about whether there was a sufficient array of colouring pencils to keep your entourage entertained while you're trapped in a room with a bunch of hacking strangers for an unnecessarily lengthy period of time? Remember also not having to worry about using the term 'inside voice' in every third sentence in that same waiting room? Recently, I was lucky enough to have a four year old with me when going for my routine pap test. Yes, hooray - a pap test. I'd struck the proverbial jackpot one would say. I had meticulously booked the appointment so I could attend on my own, but naturally at the last minute the babysitting fell through and I was forced to drag Miss 4 along with me. For the love of God, if this ever happens to you, simply concede, cancel the appointment and happily pay the penalty fees in the knowledge you've avoided experiencing the highest level of parental punishment possible. I'll spare you the details but needless to say, the doctor recommended I attend again the following week for a repeat test due to her "not being certain I was relaxed enough. Really? Quelle surprise!! And who doesn't love enduring a pap test two weeks in a row?

So there's the mere beginning of the 'Life B.C'. list. I admit that conversely there's a really sizeable list detailing how much better my life is with these small people in it and how lucky I am to have been able to have them in the first place, but sometimes it feels good to remember the good old B.C. days even just for a minute!

Now excuse me while I go and wipe the smeared breakfast jam from my new, overpriced dress...




Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Welcome 2014 - Are You Diving In Or Are You Treading Lightly?


IMAGE : THE MOTHER LOAD | Welcome 2014

Happy New Year! How did you ring in 2014? Did you welcome it with wide open arms, great gusto and copious amounts of champagne?  We did it small but laughed until our stomachs ached - hopefully it's a sign of things to come this year.  Quite amazingly, I made it to midnight! I learned that if you say enough times that you have no intention of getting there, you seem to have a greater chance of reaching it without realising. Miraculous. In other news, I managed to have kids in bed by 10.30pm which in itself is monumental and perhaps a little cruel on NYE but holiday exhaustion had officially set in so they were ushered to bed without a huge amount of argument. Again, miraculous.

So farewell, 2013.

Thursday, December 19, 2013

Merry Christmas From The Mother Load Australia.....


Wishing all the lovely readers and followers of The Mother Load Australia a wonderful Christmas break and may the new year bring all that you hope for. (At this stage, I'm simply hoping for a little school holiday sanity - currently the bar is set pretty low based upon previous experience! i.e. here).

Thank you so much for supporting this little blog of mine throughout its first year in the public eye - the time you've taken to read, comment, like and share has been like a gift to me each and every time. 


For what it's worth, I'm striving towards even more dysfunction and over-sharing in 2014!



Monday, December 2, 2013

Making A List, Checking It Twice - 2014 Resolutions


IMAGE : WWW. MORGUEFILE.COM | Making A List, Checking It Twice


I've come to realise that I'm a big fan of setting goals and resolutions.

In fact, I'm SUCH a fan that often the setting of the goal gives me more satisfaction than actually reaching it (yep, I'm weird but I'm thinking that perhaps you should have realised that by now?).  So that being said, I've decided I'm going to give the whole New Years' resolution thing a bit of a run up this year. Currently, it's the first week in December and I figure that's more than enough time for me to set decent realistic resolutions that aren't made in painful shoes, with a gullet of champagne on board, five minutes before midnight clicks over into the New Year. 

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

One Chapter Ends, Another Begins....Ten Years Today!

IMAGE : THE MOTHER LOAD | One Chapter Ends, Another Begins

Some would argue that this post is a little self - indulgent, however I figure it's my blog and I'll post if I want to...! (Yeah - I'm so badass).

Ten years ago today, we entered that special club known as 'parenthood' for the first time. We knew NOTHING about our new role and to this day, I'm not sure that we know much more other than how awesome our kids seem to be turning out, despite our often clumsy parenting efforts.

This girl is one of the best people around and today she opens a new chapter in her life, leaving behind her baby, toddler, pre-schooler and little girl self. Happy Birthday to our big girl! May the next chapter bring you much happiness, new discoveries, many meaningful life long friendships and minimal teenage conflict with your parents.

Thursday, November 14, 2013

'Happy' World Diabetes Day (Thanks For the Memories)


IMAGE : MORGUEFILE.COM | Diabetes Day
So today is World Diabetes Day and although most of us will simply chalk it up as one of other 'World Days' that doesn't apply to us, it would be remiss of me not to reflect on that relatively short three month period when the disease ruled my life in the form of Gestational Diabetes (a type of diabetes brought on by, and during pregnancy). Man - that was hard! This probably sounds overly dramatic (and possibly flippant to those who suffer the disease permanently - sorry if so) but it was like being dealt a prison sentence where your entire life is suddenly ruled by needles, low GI food, blood sugar levels and a nagging fear that if you don't follow a certain set of instructions to the letter, your baby could be facing its own life-threatening issues.

No pressure.

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Social Media Manners - What's Your Code Of Conduct?


IMAGE : MORGUEFILE.COM | Social Media Manners
I was reading a post on an Australian parenting forum recently, where a mother was asking for advice on what you would do if a photo of your child appeared on Facebook (or similar) without your knowledge or consent. The mother was rightly pissed off and had only found out about it when someone commented that they'd seen the picture online and remarked on how much her daughter had grown up. The photo was neither dodgy or suggestive, but her dilemma was that she felt a little violated and unsure about whether she should ask the sharing mother to take the post down. Furthermore, she was interested in what the 'rules' are regarding social media manners given her permission had not been sought. Seems like a pretty clear cut case of thoughtlessness to me but it got me thinking about online etiquette and how grey the line obviously is for some people.

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Coffee With That Contraction Anyone?


IMAGE : PINTEREST.COM | Coffee With That Contraction?
So Miss Almost Ten just did the 'making babies' part of her 'Family Life' Unit today (the politically correct version of sex ed in case you're wondering). When recapping the birthing baby phase (a Strawberry Shortcake doll emerging clumsily from a large sock apparently) she nonchalantly stated with a wave of her hand, "So you just push, the babies' head appears, you rest, relax, have a cup of coffee, then push again until it comes out..."

Sorry - what? HAVE A CUP OF COFFEE???

Either I was doing it completely wrong in the delivery suite all those years ago, or the Family Life Educator needs to umm....maybe....GIVE BIRTH?!

Let me just say that if anyone is composed enough to sip on a latte during the crowning phase, then they deserve to be nominated for whatever warrior-woman birthing, caffeine-loving award is in existence! 

For now, I think Miss Almost Ten can remain happily deluded until the next installment.



Saturday, October 26, 2013

Halloween - Did I Miss Something?


IMAGE : MORGUEFILE.COM
So the Halloween chatter is starting in our house. Last year, I must have ‘missed the memo’ stating that Halloween is now a festival to be officially embraced here in Australia so, like every other year of my life, I completely ignored the occasion without a second thought. Subsequently and to my surprise, I had two sour–faced, moping children who howled that it wasn't fair then spent the evening with their snivelling noses pressed up against the window watching the trick-or-treat ritual taking place in our street around them.

My second relevation was that the neighbours went all out. Cobwebs through their front garden, jack-o-lantern thingys, lights, spooks, costumes – they whole bit. (Special thanks to them for rubbing salt on the wounds by the way…)


Thursday, October 24, 2013

Emotional Terrorists? Girls, Friendship and Everything In Between


IMAGE : MORGUEFILE.COM | Emotional Terrorists?
I've come to realise that as you get older, although friendships can often diminish in number, they tend to become much more meaningful and fulfilling. When you're in your teens, all going well you have a handful of great friends with whom your main aim in life is to have as much fun as possible. This usually involves experimenting in whatever peer-driven activity is on the cards irrespective of its level of propriety. In your twenties, if you have a great job, or you go to university, the people you meet here often become your 'circle'. I've worked with some awesome people in my time and still consider them to be some of my dearest (and funniest) friends who I love to reunite with as often as possible. 

In the next phase of your life if you have children, the bonds you form with new found friends from other parent groups i.e. a mother's group, kinder and school become some of the easiest, most meaningful friendships of your life due largely to your adult level of maturity and because of the common interests and challenges you share as parents.  So it's at that time once your own friendships are at their easiest and most fulfilling that you become aware of the challenges faced by your kids as they enter the same friendship phases you survived all those years ago.

Thursday, October 17, 2013

Confessions Of A Failed Feeder - When 'Breast Is Best' Just Isn't


IMAGE : THE MOTHER LOAD | Confessions Of A Failed Feeder

According to various wise and experienced bloggers, a 'true blogger' is prepared at some point to reveal a very personal thing about themselves to their loyal, dedicated readers. I've read many tales from other writers who bare their soul and despite their fear of judgement, they feed their audience exactly what they've been waiting for like a pack of hungry lions. Audiences love a little personal exposure; it's why bloggers get followed because they are inviting and permitting a certain type of voyeurism. Readers love it because often they can relate; sometimes another person's tale can give them strength or perspective, or perhaps it simply gives them the sense of camaraderie or like-mindedness they've been searching for. And I guess that's why I write and why I share - I always hope to strike a chord with someone. When considering a subject, often I could get very personal about many different areas of my life but I'm always conscious of involving the stories of other players who haven't signed up to participate in my public oversharing. I could write about the ups and downs of my various family relationships as I'm sure many of us could, but in fairness it's me whose soul has (reluctantly) signed up to be laid bare, and no one else's.

So here's something a little personal. I'm sharing mainly because I would have given anything to read this story written by someone else at a certain time in my life.

Monday, September 30, 2013

Finding Your Passion - A Nine Year Old's Big Issue


It seems I have my first guest blogger. She's smart, funny, a great thinker and she's about to turn ten.  Recently, she's been a little concerned by the fact that she hasn't found her 'passion'. Its been worrying her, distracting her, causing many unwanted sighs and keeping her from sleeping soundly. Seriously, do you recall ever giving that much thought to such things when you were nine? Not me. At nine, my main stress revolved around whether the ice cream truck was going to pass by our street over the weekend or if I was going to be allowed to watch 'Countdown' on Sunday. Anyway, hallelujah, she thinks that perhaps she's found it. She really wanted to write about it (I figured that she's so often the unknowing subject of my various parenting gripes and triumphs I owed it to her!) so may I present to you, the newly passionate and freshly focused, Miss O.

IMAGE : THE MOTHER LOAD | Finding Your Passion

Monday, September 23, 2013

Save Us From The 'Selfie' - When Innocent Becomes Suggestive


IMAGES : MORGUEFILE.COM | Save Us From The Selfie

It's a subject that's been playing on my mind lately, particularly as I watch my first born child heading towards her teen years like a clumsy snowball barrelling down a hill. Perhaps it's because we sat as a family and watched old videos of her as a toddler this past weekend, or simply due to the fact that her newly discovered sometimes surly teen-like attitude is belting me over the head as a reminder that my firm, motherly grasp is gently loosening. Either way, I need to give further consideration to this especially tricky subject that all parents face thanks to the wonders of technology and connectivity.  I am of course referring to the modern age artistic phenomenon of the 'selfie'. For those still living in 1980 or with their head buried in the sand (any room there for me?) a 'selfie' is defined by the Oxford Dictionary as follows:

Selfie
noun
(plural selfies)

informal, a photograph that one has taken of oneself, typically one taken with a smartphone or webcam and uploaded to a social media website.

Saturday, September 21, 2013

Saturday Thoughts From A Random Mind

IMAGE : THE MOTHER LOAD
While leaping around on our bed this morning, Miss A (aged five) announced out of the blue that Michael Jackson was dead (couple of years behind but whatever). We promptly confirmed this to be true (then admittedly, I began questioning the child-friendly content of our staple TV viewing, ABC Kids). When her Dad then asked who Michael Jackson was, she replied quickly and confidently:

"A cook. Michael Jackson was a chef."

Okay then.

Puts a whole new spin on the song, 'Beat It', I guess.




Thursday, September 19, 2013

Fashionable Frocks and Forty...


IMAGES : WWW.WILLHOPELOVE.COM.AU | Fashionable Frocks And Forty


Not sure about you, but I find elegant after-five wear really hard to find especially now that I'm on the north side of Forty.  Once upon a time a decade ago, 'short and tight' was perfectly acceptable - nowadays however that term refers mostly to my work deadlines rather than my appropriate choice of fashion, sadly.


Thursday, September 12, 2013

Doesn't Hurt To Ask....R U OK?


Doesn't Hurt to Ask - R U OK?

Today is R U OK Day. If you feel otherwise a little awkward checking in on those around you who you suspect may be struggling, today is your day to ask the big question. 

R U Ok? 

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Conscience Versus Codeine...


IMAGE : MORGUEFILE.COM | Conscience Vs. Codeine
Just as I was beginning to boast about having survived winter without one cough or cold to speak of, WHAMMO. In it came to teach me a lesson that sometimes even my paranoid hand washing and love of antibacterial liquids can't protect me from an apparent tsunami of kiddie germs. Seven days in bed, two Dr's visits, drugs (not the fun kind) and plenty of drips and sniffs and I'm finally upright again. Woop! *cough, splutter*. So while in a codeine-fuelled haze (how innocent people don't get murdered thanks to this drug I don't know), I wrote a somewhat bitter and twisted piece about this damn election, why the whole thing is driving me crazy and how I have a strong desire to stick my head in the sand and wish it away.  The post provided witty, dry criticism of Kev's egocentric selfies (which I still say are maddening for what it's worth), Tony's evil and dangerous old boys' thinking, Clive's ludicrous plan to spend $200M on building a replica Titanic, and Julian's plan to rule the country from the four walls of the Ecuadorian Embassy and yet, I haven't yet been able to hit the 'publish' button. Why? Because when you boil it down, it's mean spirited. 

Friday, August 23, 2013

I Wonder How The Mothers Of Syria Slept Last Night?


IMAGE : @FREE_SYRIA TWITTER
I went to sleep last night feeling especially shell-shocked and shaken up by the images broadcast from the latest alleged atrocity in Syria. These days, we are so conditioned to see things that disturb us that often news pictures simply go straight to the part of our brain that holds stuff we've seen on CSI; stuff that we process as almost fictitious and fabricated with makeup and special effects. Last night though, as I watched vision of young children writhing and gasping for their last breath as victims of an alleged gas attack, it was simply too much to bear as a parent, and as a human being. 

Friday, August 16, 2013

The Beat Goes On - The Ultimate Gift Of Life...


IMAGE :THE MOTHER LOAD | The Best Goes On - The Ultimate Gift Of Life

Today, I'm giving a bit of thought to the notion of organ donation. I know I've discussed it briefly in the past here The Lingering Lessons From Great Ormond Street but the subject has re-presented itself this week with the sudden passing of a family member who followed through with his pledge to be an organ donor.

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

One Door Shuts, Another Opens....Five Years Today!


IMAGE : THE MOTHER LOAD  | Five Years Today
This little person turns five today (bless her little cotton socks). She's equal parts awesome and eccentric, with a generous dash of off-the-wall crazy and although I know I'm totally in for it in about eight years time, I love all of her individuality, spark and bullishness (keep an eye out for future posts that completely contradict this).

So does that mean I'm officially leaving the pre-school parenting phase?? Holy Crap. (or "Oh My Giddy Aunt" as the birthday girl pictured right, says when caught by surprise). That is actually pretty significant to someone who knows there are no more children on the horizon and if I really think about it, the idea of this fills me which much more joy looking forward than it does sadness as I leave the last of that phase behind. I loved having babies and the roller coaster ride of having toddlers was mostly pain free. Having said that, today I celebrate both of my kids having a little more independence and a slightly more self- sufficient routine that gives me a little (Goddamn) freedom. 

Happy Birthday to the cheekiest monkey in town. May the next phase of your life be filled with the joys of growing up, learning your ABCs, sharing my love of the written word and most importantly learning the art of friendship. (And may the next phase of MY life be filled with the ability to attend a doctor's appointment or a leg wax without the 'mouth from the south' in attendance).  Woop!


Friday, August 9, 2013

Happy International 'WTF' Day.......!


IMAGE : THE MOTHER LOAD | WTF Day!
So I've labelled today 'International WTF Day'. Anyone else celebrating it with me? We put most of this in the first world problem category but here's how it's been so far (and it's only 2.00pm).

Miss A has been home for three days generally coughing and spluttering and insisting that all of my usual work attention be directed to her instead (today being no exception). Totally fine, I can cope with that. I can also cope with the 9am phone call from Miss O who's at school but feeling equally as unwell and therefore needs to be collected. Again, fine. Whatever. In the car, pull up at school, chuck her in and we're done there for the week.

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Watch This! (TV Is Good Sometimes) ...


IMAGE : WIKIPEDIA.ORG | Watch This! (TV is Good Sometimes)
Who else is LOVING The Time Of Our Lives on the ABC at the moment? It's so nice to have an Australian series that doesn't make you cringe with unrealistic storylines and cliche, one dimensional actors - these cast members complement each other brilliantly and there's such a mix of old and new faces, all of whom meet the incredible standard of the most experienced players. I have a particular affection for the characters played by Stephen Curry and Shane Jacobson who have the wonderful combination of comedy and mateship seamlessly present within their relationship. Hats off also to Justine Clarke and Claudia Karvan, personifying all the stuff that women and mothers wrestle with in our real, everyday lives. Thank you Amanda Higgs and Judi McCrossin - you ladies really know how to connect with an audience. I read somewhere that The Time Of Our Lives is like The Secret Life Of Us for 'grown ups' which really rings true and I'm lucky to have been able to appreciate both of these extraordinary series' in two relevant 'times of my life'. (I'm obviously fortunate enough to be in the 'bullseye' of their target audience).

So watch it! It's totally worthy. Catch up on ABC iView or Sunday nights, 8.30pm AEST.

(Offspring, I'm not cheating on you, I'm just dabbling in an open relationship).



Wednesday, July 31, 2013

The Status Of Childbirth (My Media Bugbear)


IMAGE : KATE, WILLS AND GEORGE - BLESS 'EM | The Status Of Childbirth

Let it be said that I love Kate and Wills and new baby George. I love what they stand for in these modern times and good on 'em for announcing that they'll be doing the hands on parent thing (although I'll bet my left ovary that Mary Poppins will be called upon before too long because why wouldn't you after a string of sleepless nights if you had the choice?).

Perhaps I'm being over-sensitive (and I do write this post with my tongue pressed gingerly into my cheek) but does anyone else find the above statement accompanying the photo slightly pointless and a teeny bit insulting? 

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Taming The Beast - Social Media And Pre Teens



IMAGE : MORGUEFILE.COM | Taming The Beast


Social media: the means of interactions among people in which they create, share, and exchange information and ideas in virtual communities and networks.[1] (Wikipedia)

 Sounds harmless enough, doesn't it? Sounds almost necessary and educational according to the above definition.

As a parent, if I was asked to visually define social media, the first thing that comes to mind is an enormous, towering transformer - like beast, casting a large dark shadow, complete with heavy doors which open and close allowing only the brave to enter, loudly slamming shut behind them. Okay - I concede it's a little dramatic but despite my own familiarity and understanding of said beast, I feel as though I need to go back to seeing it as something new and fearful in order for me to navigate it as a parent of an almost ten year old girl who in the coming years will will commence her journey into the online space. I may not like it, but it's going to happen unless the internet blows up so I figure I might as well do it correctly, right?

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

New York - The Most Beautiful Catastrophe


EMPIRE STATE BIRD  | IMAGE : THE MOTHER LOAD
New York is the most beautiful city in the world? It is not far from it. No urban night is like the night there…. Squares after squares of flame, set up and cut into the aether. Here is our poetry, for we have pulled down the stars to our will. Ezra Pound

With the sounds of the New York subway trains and the continuous honk of impatient taxis still pulsating in my ears, I sit here back at my desk once again absorbed in the routine of everyday life and yet I'm now grinning with sly satisfaction as I recall the awesome memories and experiences I have banked from the past two weeks of (childless!) travel. My New York bucket list was long and I feel as though out of complete obligation to myself and by a certain degree of luck, I've finally ticked off a countless number of experiences and for this, I'm silently high-fiving the travel Gods for allowing me the chance.